Care Bears – The Work Of The Devil

My daughter Lily will be four in just a few weeks. She is the perfect age to have her mind warped by marketing vultures. In the last few days her dad brought home what we thought were innocuous and benevolent videos for her to watch, useful tools of entertainment that she is very fond of.

We don’t watch much regular TV but we do watch a fair amount of videos, and as anyone with kids will tell you, the same videos are watched repeatedly in very short span of time.

So in walks Eric with a couple of blasts from the past: Strawberry Shortcakeand the Care Bears.

Well, the Strawberry Shortcake video seems innocent enough, other than the hidden stereotypes and unique marketing devices – the case smells like strawberries. But it’s deceptive nonetheless. I can’t see how my daughter can benefit in any way from watching children whose lives revolve around sweets. Lily is already obsessed with sweets, how is this helping?

So just as I was about to wage war on the seductive Strawberry Shortcake and her friends Rotten Teeth Sally and Obese Betty, I sat down and watched the Care Bears.

To say that this animation is the work of the devil is an understatement. This is pure evil incarnate.

The doe-eyed little bears with names like Funshine, Share-a-lot, Champ, Tenderheart, Love-you-long-time etc. seem so innocent and sweet, just the kind of influence you want on your child. They are always smiling, trying to be helpful, looking at the bright side of life, blah blah blah. BUT IT’S A RUSE.

What really happens are sadistic plots that include children falling down wells, trapped with rocks falling on them, bullies shoving kids on the playground because they have braces on, camp counselors telling frightening tales of monsters who eat children, grownups deceiving – exploiting love and goodness – honestly the list goes on and on, each episode more disturbing than the next.

And in the end the Care Bears using their “Magic Goodness” save the day through convoluted plot devices and actions that are completely contrived and incomprehensible by children of any age (I didn’t get half of it).

No real lessons are learned and the children who are engrossed by these shows only remember the horrific scenes of danger, cruelty and mayhem that were wrought.

What kind of monster creates these shows? Cleveland’s own American Greetings. The same people who brought you Sweetheart’s Day.

I wonder if they are hiring?