“World’s Highest-Paid Lap Dancer” Whines About Success

Shania Twain and the Kurt Cobain syndrome:

The 37-year-old country singer’s new album “Up” has soared to No. 1 on the U.S. charts, but Twain hinted to Time magazine that she will soon stop performing.

“I never burned to perform, and I don’t care if I ever perform again,” Twain said. Twain – whose 1997 album, “Come on Over,” sold an astounding 19 million copies and is the best-selling album by a female singer in U.S. history – has been called the “world’s highest-paid lap dancer” by country rebel Steve Earle.

She has been in seclusion with her Svengali hubby, Mutt Lange, in Switzerland the past two years and gave birth to a baby boy in 2001.

Twain moaned to the mag about the pressures of fame and said that’s why she left the United States.

“I don’t feel free,” the Canadian native said. “I don’t feel free to do what I want. I could never just do anything for fun. It’s such a waste of time to do something for fun.

“I can’t live the rest of my life like this.” [NY Post]

And you can’t have fun why exactly? Because of the adoring fans and recognition. I weep for you. Money, fame, success can’t buy happiness and all of that shit, but they are somewhat better than poverty, obscurity and failure I would venture to say. Sure it’s inconvenient, but you could try a minor disguise, venture forth without an entourage, or hang out in Switzerland where I’m sure they don’t give a fig.

“Weep, weep, oh where is the fun???” Spare me – now about that lap dance…