Book Review: ‘I Remember Fallujah’ by Feurat Alani

Fallujah

In I Remember Fallujah Feurat Alani takes readers on a deep dive into memory and the tricks it can play on a person, but also the history of Iraq from pre Baath Party rule, and Saddam Hussain, to the American occupation after the second gulf war. The story is told from two perspectives: an exiled Iraqi now living in Paris France and his son.

Rami Ahmed, the father, was born in Fallujah Iraq in 1944 and left for France in 1972. A bald statement which doesn’t convey any of the times and life he lived through in his birth place or what he experienced during his exile. In fact he never really talked to his son about his life in Iraq – it was  a closed book.

Now, as his father is dying from cancer and succumbing to a form of dementia, Rami’s son Euphrates, manages to unlock some of the secrets of the past. Not only was he named for the famed river that runs through Fallujah, but he also discovers the deep significance the body of water played in his father’s life.

Alani slowly draws us into the world of the past by introducing us to father and son in the hospital where the former is slowly losing his grip on the world. In an effort to help his father hold onto what few memories he is able to retain Euphrats asks him what he can remember. As is normal for people suffering from dementia, Rami is able to recall events from childhood and youth with remarkable clarity.

Rami remembers his mother dying when he was young and the cruelty he suffered at the hands of his stepmother and her sons – his stepbrothers. He remembers his escape from his father’s house to the Euphrates river with his closest friend and how they managed to move from Fallujah to Baghdad.

Like other Arab countries in the 1950s Iraqis were inspired by the liberation movements sweeping countries which had been under colonial rule. Unfortunately this also led to the rise of autocratic and military leadership. While in Baghdad, Rami was swept up in the desire for change and was a supporter of a left leaning government.

When the Baath party overthrew them, ushering in the rule of Saddam Hussain, Rami’s situation became dangerous. He was denounced to the secret police and incarcerated in one of their notorious prisons where he was tortured. Miraculously he was released and managed to flee the country and make his way to France.

Even among the Arab population in France Euphrates finds himself the odd person out. Most of the exiles are from either Algeria or other former French colonies. He’s one of the few from Iraq. This makes him want to find out more about where he came from. As a child he would badger his parents with questions and never receive answers. Of course he didn’t know his father’s history and how it wasn’t safe for him to return home.

Eventually Euphrates’ mother manages to arrange a visit so he and his sister can meet both their paternal and maternal families. However, he is warned by his father, who doesn’t make the trip, not to speak loudly and don’t stare at people when he’s in Iraq. While his mother’s family lives in Baghdad, the father’s still live in Fallujah. 

While Euphrates recounts, and remembers, his trips to visit family in Iraq, both before and after the two invasions, Alani takes us into Rami’s memories of his final days in Iraq. The juxtaposition of hearing about the family reunions and the horrors Rami underwent before exile are jarring. 

It’s like readers are seeing the same landscape through a kaleidoscope reflecting the different times and conditions of life in both Fallujah and Iraq. From the heady days of Arab nationalism in the 1950s to the oppressiveness of Saddam Hussain, followed by the horror of the country slowly starving to death due to the sanctions between the two invasions, to the reality of living under an occupying army intent on looting the country of anything it can take.

Alani has created a very detailed picture of the life of an exile’s family. Cut off from his family’s past, growing up Euphrates has no knowledge of where he came from. While filling in the blanks is painful, it gives him a better understanding of both his mother and father. 

With I Remember Fallujah Feurat Alani has created a very moving portrait of a family’s struggle with living in exile and their memories of where they came from. Beautifully written, with incredible empathy and compassion, it shines a light into some very dark corners of modern history and helps us remember the individual human beings behind the headlines of war and refugees.